Priorities

12 May

1Wow I’m actually not playing Fallout 4 today sporatically between writing sessions, what has my life come to

So we discovered that our little Clefable is the child of Tyra, and Scyther had another child named Lickitung.  Scyther’s attempts to add to the family, however, are thwarted at the moment because her pursuit of Cemre turned out to be a bust.  Because he’s a sack of ass.  And then we got a pet dragon named Noivern.2Scyther left Cemre’s broke ass and moved onto Eileen in .04 seconds.  They are now dating.

Eileen: “SHIT, Tyrone, you scared me to death.  I thought you were my husband coming home while I was gonna try to get the woogy on with my new girlfriend.”

Tyrone: “What”3Gengar: “Now that you’re a part of the family, time to earn your keep.  Fly me somewhere, Noivern!  Show me the new animation that’s sweeping the nation!”4Noivern: *Flys away by himself*

Gengar: “I honestly thought I was gonna get to fly with him.  I am dissappointed, but I guess I’m not surprised.  Waste of a whole HM move though.”5Gengar: “You’re still mama’s good boy though.  Who wants a carrot??”

Noivern: “REALLY.  You’re gonna feed me a diet of effin CARROTS??!  A carnivorous flying beast of magic and wonder such as myself CARROTS?!  Ok.”6I rather would be watching Gengar play with Noivern.  Because watching Scyther and Eileen turned out to be garbage……………..

Scyther: “COME ON EILEEN”

Eileen: “The song is about as romantic now as it was the first four hundred times you sung it to me.  Stop it.”

Scyther: “But you said you liked the Deoxys Midnight Runners…”

7Instead of sleeping with Scyther, she chose the less fun, sleep on the floor option.

Eileen: “Comfy af”8Also screaming children isn’t helping set the mood exactly.

Still think her name is Stacey: “FOREVER WAH”

Tyrone: “Jesus I just want to sleep.  I also want to actually own a bed in this house.  Can’t you people do something about this or that?”

Duane and Eileen: “Hmmmm, a screaming baby.  I wonder if we look at them long enough, will they stop.”9Scyther: “I’ve been standing in this living room for almost 3 hours waiting for Eileen to stop staring down her miserable child, and I just realized that this man isn’t even wearing any pants.  No wonder the kids are so distressed.”

Marshmellow: “I don’t know what to be so afraid of some malnourished earthworm stuck on his abdomen.  I should try to tear it off, see if that helps?”10Scyther: “You know what, Eileen?!  I can’t be with a person that stands around for hours while their child is forced to stare at their Uncle’s dick all morning, that’s borderline child abuse!  Plus, I don’t need to wait around all morning to get some ass while you fill up your queue to complain about why they are crying instead.  Bye.  Don’t call.  Don’t come over.  And don’t come near my own kids.”

At least she got that Girlfriend Status first.11Awww, someone is cutely enjoying an afternoon nap.

Pumkaboo: “RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE”
12Scyther: “Wake up, Chicken Stick.  You’re gonna make me a new friend with your magic powers somehow.”

Noivern: “Ze snooze”
13Scyther: “Go, Noivern, and fetch me a looker for me to start over fresh!”

Noivern: “Eh, not gonna “fetch”.  It’ll be easier for me to just summon a person here for you.  That way I can get back to my nap.”14Noivern: *Spits up a looker*

Tyrone: *Refuses to open eyes and actually look*

Scyther: “Oh wow, meeting this one took about 147,349 less animation frames than usual.”15Scyther: “Wait a fish shit, isn’t this one of Eileen’s brothers?  Are you serious.”

The game didn’t bother looking very far.16Scyther: “But hey, that instant-friend tho.  Gimme two seconds I’mma be on this stick”

Noivern: “Oh Arceus please put me down first”
17So much for a quick and easy relationship though.  Apparently Tyrone is just as sleepy as Noivern is right now.

Scyther: “GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER TYRONE”18Clarisse: “Lookie!  I found babies!  I will take care of them forever!”

Finally grandma found her way to the second floor.  Glad she’s finally taking some responsibility around the house and being the designated babysitter she’s supposed to be.  Now Scyther can go on a proper date.19Tyrone: “Now that your Motive Mobile has eradicated any indication that I haven’t slept since I was in high school, I must say, this extremely high saturated light seems to make you even more vibrant than you actually are…”

Scyther: “Actually open your eyes Tyrone, for fuck’s sake”20Scyther: “You are gonna be the easiest romance I have ever conquered.”

Tyrone: “I can’t wait to get home and tell my sister I’m hitting it up with her ex girlfriend C:”21Tyrone: “Oh well would you look at that?  Every time we get anywhere near Extremely Irresistible status, we reset our interaction!  Now isn’t that just a pickle in a basket of squash.”

Scyther: “What in the hell…”

And then Tyrone went home and I raged angrily but silently.22Scyther followed Tyrone back to the house, where on the way I saw Rapidash standing under a sign to protect herself from the rain.  Ever since rebuilding the house, I kinda let Rapidash and Keldeo wander aimlessly around lots, so they are off on their own little adventure, and travel all over, surviving surprisingly well.

No they are not homeless technically.  Just wanderers.  LONE WANDERERS. And setting fires.23Scyther: “Tyrone, we need to… ARE THOSE BABIES STILL SITTING HERE CRYING THEIR EYES OUT.”

Tyrone: “Uh, I wouldn’t know personally, being with you almost all day yesterday, so I can’t be blamed for it.  This time.”24Annoyed with the lack of care I reset them for need boosts, but this one continued to cry no matter what.  So I aged her up and forgot about the consequences.

Smol Girl: “How fucking dare you, I look like Sloth’s daughter from the Goonies.”

Just move a bit, stretch out those muscles, you’ll pop back into place.25Child: “Age me up all you want it will never change the fact that I still have shit in my drawers.”

Tyrone: “That is still absolutely none of my concern.”

Scyther: “Wow you know what, I don’t think I really want to breed with any of you people.”

That and continuing to interact with Tyrone just resets the interaction after so many seconds.  Not DEALING with this one anymore.26Scyther: “Go to the Reject Pit with Cemre and cry about losing the chance to get with this, because I just remembered someone else I can go hit it up with.”27Kristina: “How did I end up in this nasty yard?  Why do I always end up wandering over here?”

It’s Jesse’s and Oak’s baby girl from before!  I think I called her Sharon before, though, but I’m 100% sure it’s actually Kristina.  Don’t make me look it up.

I looked it up.  It is Kristina.  AND her last name is Lu-Lee.  She married Omari but imagine if she married Lea.
29Kristina: “Nuuu, I married Omari remember”

Scyther: “But our love will no know bounds”

Max relationship but utterly loyal.  Not another Cemre please.30Sylveon: “Oh wow, mother was right.  This is a nice work out for my haunches.”

Really?  You too Sylveon?  Is it just the chairs that are trapping you to the floor? 31Litleo: “Hold on, I will return to test that theory” *Dies*

I see.  So apparently these chairs, but JUST these chairs are freezing my cats.  And it’s just the cats, the sims are fine when they use them.  Don’t think these chairs are going to last very long.

Scyther: *Screams at sleeping dragon for a refund*32*Ominus ground lighting from nowhere*  Scyther: “I followed you all the way to your home because I know we can make it work Kristina, you know it in your heart we’re destined to be together”

Kristina: “Wow you REALLY haven’t gotten laid in a long time, have you”

Lea Lee: “Why do the Pokemon weirdos keep finding their way into this house?  This place is just a magnet for weirdos…”

Horatio, Oak’s and Jesse’s son that I am just now meeting for the first time I think: “There’s no real reason I’m living here, I just am now”33Kristina: “Ignoring you for waffles, got my priorities in line”

Scyther: “It’s ok my love, I will wait for my turn.  I will wait here forever…”

Scyther, maybe you keep bugging out on relationships now because you’re getting a tad bit too creepy.34Scyther: “Them waffles were good huh?  How about I show you a different kind of waffl-”

Kristina: “Sleep now, keeping those priorities in order, yes sirrieee”

Wooow, shot down again.35Kristina: “But first, I must greet my special little boy home from a long hard day of licking his balls in a public park, how ya doing, buddy?”

One of many of Houndoom’s stray love children: “It’s not all I did!  I also chased a cat into oncoming traffic.  I was very productive today!”
36Scyther: “Now that the dog has been properly greeted, How about I introduce you to-”

Kristina: “Yep, NOW it’s time for a bathroom break!  Yep, uh huh, keeping priorities, definitely not ignoring the psycho trying to hold hands with me 5 times in queue, nope”37Then I got stuck in a bullshit 5 fps per hour so the town got resetted, as it was probably due.

That’s right little Lickitung, reach for the stars.  38Obligatory mutated pet image.

Litleo: “STRONG CRUSH TINY HUMANS”
39Scyther: “Alright time to get this show on the road!  Look Lickitung, mama’s about to make you the middle child ;)”

Clarisse: “Ignore your sleazy desperate mother, child.  I have a nice warped bottle of formula just for you.”40Scyther: “And she’s a cutie patootie too!  Kristina and that other guy can eat it!  But they’re not because you’re gonna eat it.”

Carla: “Oh lady I’ve only known as my best friend for two minutes, it would be my honor.”41

And then she RESET RIGHT BEFORE THE MAIN EVENT, NO, GAME WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO SCYTHER

Scyther: “PLEASE!  I haven’t felt a loving touch since way before Lickitung was born and I can’t survive going another week!”42Scyther: “Screw her, she wasn’t a true best friend anyway.  Now, if you mess up Noivern, it’s the PC for you.”

Noivern: “Oh please don’t stuff me into the computer again!  The fans hurt when they wack into me.”43Scyther: “Oooooooh yeahhhh.  About to start some family drama.”

No.  We’re gonna leave Caterpie and his family be.  He deserves that much.

Noivern: “PLEASE!  NOT THE COMPUTER!  I CAN’T HELP THAT IT WAS HER SISTER-IN-LAW I’M LITERALLY JUST DRAWING NAMES OUT OF A GLASS JAR”
44Scyther: “Heeey!  It’s you again!  I knew destiny couldn’t keep us apart!”

Tami: “Well I guess I wasn’t as special as I thought.  I’ll go have this baby in the corner all by myself quietly then.”

ihateyouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuOh wait no.  Kristina has to go the second her feet hit the floor.  Because.  You know.  PRIORITIES.

Kristina: “Look me in my face.  EVERYTHING is a priority over this weirdo’s shit.”
45Scyther: “Whoa whoa whoa!  How in the world did I end up down here setting up a birthday party for my worm baby?!”

We have our own priorities too you know!

Scyther: “BUT THIS ISN’T MY NUMBER ONE PRIORITY”46Scyther: “UGH, I couldn’t reach it while it was on the counter in front of me, and I accidentally stuffed it into the table pillar!  Don’t make me turn cheats on to move it out please.”

FOR CHRIST’S SAKE.  JUST MOVE IT INTO THE LIVING ROOM, I’LL BUY A NEW TABLE AND CAKE BECAUSE YOU CAN’T FUNCTION47Pumkaboo: “Hmmm, it appears that this scratching post is already in use, and cannot support two cats at the same time.”

Litleo: “So much for your Two Cats One Scratching Post fantasies.  Thank Arceus.”

Pumkaboo: “Well my claws are so ragged and uncomfortable!  What am I supposed to use now to make them nice and sharp?”48Pumkaboo: “Hmmmmm…”

Don’t even THINK about it cat.49Scyther: “I could be getting my thimbles waxed right about now, but nooooo.  Got to watch over my child’s birthday party.”

Gengar: “You are starting to sound more and more like your shitty grandfather everyday, Scyther.  Congradulations.”50MMM, someone looks a lot like his birth father in this picture, with a lot of throwbacks to his beloved grandmother *sniff*

Omari’s beautiful son will be recolored after these crashes messages.51Lickitung: “Obligatory look at my nose derp”

Cat, don’t make me roll you.

Pumkaboo: “I AM ABOVE THE LAW”

We will end this chapter on a good note, despite the game itself ending on a bad note.  After Lickitung grew up, the game instantly reverted back to that shitty 5 FPS or whatever and I don’t know what else to do about it right now.  Soon after that shit happened, I bought an Xbone, and I’ve been in Fallout hell ever since.

I DID however, add the Fuchsia City theme song into the game for a bit of atmosphere.  Wish I did this earlier with previous gens, but what can you do.  It’s great, no matter what I hear this jingle everywhere in the house, it will never escape my sims, no matter what they are doing.

52Also I told you to put the hotdog down before joining the dance, Gengar, why can’t you assholes ever LISTEN TO ME

Gengar: “Why am I getting yelled at for a damn hotdog, we have worse problems right now, like the outside yard freezing into a silvery wasteland!”

Pretty sure that just has something to do with the shitty FPS, not something you should be concerned about right now, Gengar.  Hopefully.

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6 Responses to “Priorities”

  1. LilyShadowWriter May 20, 2016 at 10:40 pm #

    I can’t stop laughing at them dancing to the Fuchsia City theme!!!! Actually, I can’t stop laughing at pretty much everything. Forever one of my favorite blogs.

    What is UP with all the resetting though whenever Scyther tries to get some!? Your game seems to be in a never-ending quest to test your patience ;__; Let’s hope that one gets figured out soon!

  2. heatherfeather19 May 25, 2016 at 4:59 pm #

    Seems like Scyther (and the heirs before her) have a habit of getting rejected over and over. Can’t the Pokemon’s find love? ;__;

    Also, Smol girl looks painful.

  3. Megan June 15, 2016 at 8:49 am #

    Have you ever thought about trying The Sims 4? I feel like it works better. Love the Pokemons though.

  4. blamsart June 16, 2016 at 4:03 am #

    I’m dying
    I love everything you write
    This is what I read when I need to get into ISBI mood. It’s all just such gold.
    Thank you so much for this read

  5. watrdragon October 23, 2016 at 2:32 pm #

    Aw, I´m all caught up! Thank you for making me giggle so much! Now, I think, you wrote some more sim stuff…*off, to stalk your other blogs*

  6. tabbyluna January 9, 2017 at 11:46 am #

    I just caught up with this blog, great job! I swear your legacies are one of the few sims blogs that can make me actually laugh out loud. Keep up the good work! *Goes off to binge read your isbi*.

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