Zombie Simself Smustle Shake

Wooooo, two chapters this week, it’s been a while since I pulled that stunt.  So Golduck is pregnant now and simselves have been added.  Strangely enough, the zombies are the simselves this go around, so I can’t bring myself to just kill them.  Pretty much because re adding them wouldn’t fix the problem anyway, I’m sure.

Houndoom: “I went to greet Master so hard that I became his kneecap.  I’ve attached myself too strongly to this boy, haven’t I?”

Rockefeller: “Jeez, my feet look like marshmellows in this shot.”

LaShawn: “I’ve never been much of a dog person anyway.  Oh…”

Kabuterimon: “My life is nothing but a lifeless chasm anyway.  I welcome these zombies to bring about the next chapter in my soul, this fate I so deserve after Linda Leprechaun denied me a dance at the prom.”

Cait: “Oh stop your mooooooaaaaning and go do your homework.”

Rockefeller: “These zombies are taking over our lot, so you know what we must do, right Houndoom?!”

Houndoom: “You bet I do, Rockie…”

Houndoom: “Run away!”

Rockefeller: “It’s every man for himself!”

Cait: “Yeah, because I’m such a big threat.  Woooooooooo.”

Ah yes, the infamous reflection graphics strike again.

Rockefeller: “It’s like I have a conjoined twin attached to my back!”

Rochelle: “Craaaab people, craaaab people…”

Rockefeller: “Dogs can’t drown right?  Good, I should just stay in this pool the rest of my life, kthx.”

Rockefeller: “I will admit, this isn’t one of my more brilliant ideas.”

Rochelle: “Rochelle zombie confused.  Rochelle zombie part dog now?”

Houndour: “Some guard dog you are.  You let that zombie walk all over you.  Literally.”

Rockefeller: “Yeah, but I sure showed her!  I shook water all over her!  Now she’s all soaken wet and smells like damp dog, along with that musty dead zombie smell!  I win!”

Rochelle: “Rochelle zombie wonder where weird puddle came from…”

Elissa: “Sorry I’m late guys.  Is this where we are haunting today?  And for the rest of our lives?”

Cait: “I am cured!  Through the power of Disney magic!”

Houndoom: “Maybe if I bury my face far enough into the patio flooring they won’t notice me here and will eventually leave me alone…”

Rochelle: “Do the Harlem Shake!!”

Elissa: “That looks quite painful.  I think I’m going to have to pass on that, Rochelle.”

Houndoom: *Continues to pretend to be an ostrich*

Igor: “Holy crap, I’m actually doing my job back here.  That’s cool!”

Cait: “I pass on my cure through the power of interpretive dance!”

Mariah: “Every day I’m smustlin’, smustlin’…”

Rochelle: “So wait, we aren’t doing the Harlem Shake?!  Dammit guys!  Why am I always the last one to get the memo?!  I live in the household too!”

Dan: “Don’t start without meeeee!  I want to be in on the Harlem Shake video too!  I couldn’t find my props though, guys! I really wanted to dance in the video with my taco hat!”

Rochelle: “Sorry Dan, turns out we aren’t doing our video today, we were doing the smustle instead!  I just found out myself!”

Elissa: “Well don’t stop guys, I’m still filming this, you know!”

Where did that radio even come from?!  I didn’t put it there!  I blame Rochelle.

And then Rochelle gave up and became a magical zombie.

Rochelle: “Behold, strange doggie!  As I, the mystical living dead girl will guess which card you were thinking about correctly, well most of the time.”

Seriously Rochelle, you have got to teach me how you program your simself.

Mariah: “Oh Elissa!  Congratulations to you and the father-to-be!  You are just simply glowing under all that rotting flesh, anyone can see that you are going to be such a great mother!”

Elissa: “Whua… wait what?”

Elissa: “But… I haven’t even been in town longer than a day!  What the crap?!”

About twenty seconds later, her simself and that guy got married too.  So, er, congratulations I suppose?

Cait: “Oh little puppy, you wanted to come swimming with me too?”

Umbredoom: “Behold, as I am a great impersonator of Jesu-OH, hello lady!  Check it out.  I’m a magical puppy!”

Jeez, now what is this?

Cait: “Oh!  Your magic must be rubbing off on me as well!  What a sweet little doggie you are!”

Umbredoom: “I swear, it’s all the coffee I consume.  I just vibrate constantly and that’s my secret to staying on the water!”

Starla: “Damn, I’m so late it’s not funny!  I couldn’t help it though, I lost my wig in the zombie tunnels on the way here, and had to backtrack for a bit.  To no avail though, poo…”

Mariah: “Dammit Rochelle, are you trying to do magic again!  Stop that, you made my feet disappear on me again!”

Rochelle: “Oh, that wasn’t supposed to happen…”

Golduck: “Um… I sleep in with my husband for the day and wake up to this in my backyard?  Really, what gives?

Starla: “What the hell?!  What do you mean I’m dead?!  This wasn’t in my contract!  I want a lawyer!”

Golduck: “I will admit, this is the best street side show I’ve ever seen.  Have a few bucks!”

Rochelle: “Rochelle doesn’t want money… all I ever wanted was to do a damn zombie dance video to post on Youtube, is that so hard to ask?”

Cait: “Oh, if you weren’t stuck in this pool for whatever strange reason, I would just take you home with me, you sweet little boy!”

Umbreon: “Please lady.  Step away from my baby.  I’ve come to try to collect him from this pool, if you please.”

Rochelle: “Tada!  Behold!  I conjured these flowers so hard that I became a living human again!  It’s the power of maaaaagiiiiiic!”

Dan: “Was that trick supposed to shrivel my arm back into my side, because this isn’t cool, Rochelle.  You need to fix this mess.”

Umbreon: “I couldn’t figure out how to save my baby, oh well… la la la *swims upside down in the pool*”

Golduck: “Now that was a strange magic trick.  She showed one card trick of 52 pickup and then just vanished into thin air!  Now how did she do that?”

Dan: “Not only that, she took Starla and Mariah with her.  Wow, she really is magical.”

Cait: “Alright, that’s about enough I suppose.  I better be getting out of this pool now.”

Cait: “Oh, scratch that, everyone back into the pool!  Umbredoom is having his birthday right now!”

Dan: “I think I’ll pass.”

Golduck: “I’d pass too, considering that my feet are missing and I can’t swim without them, but I did miss his sister’s birthday so I got to make up for that.”

Umbredoom: “Oh wooooooow guys! I am BEAUTIFUL.”

LaShawn: “Maybe we should call the dog catcher and an exorcist, Golduck.  Or at the very least, a guy with a flamethrower.”

Golduck: “Sorry dear, I wasn’t really paying attention.  I just noticed that in this pool I got a big ole’ booty going on here.”

Here is Umbredoom all fixed and normal.  He’s like a slightly less fluffy version of his sister.  A shot of his left side to show off the crossed lines on his back.  I still don’t know how that’s genetically happening.

Golduck: “Oh Arceus, guys, my water just broke, my water just broke!”

Dan: “How do you know, you just got out of the pool!”

Golduck: “I’m in labor pains, how do you THINK I figured it out, lady?!”

Umbredoom: “I think it’s about time you got out of the pool too, Cait.  I’d hate for my new best friend to become a ghost anytime soon, haha!”

Cait: “Oh no, I’m drowning.”

Umbredoom: “Oh, REALLY?!  Well hold on, I’ll save you!  Please don’t become a ghost on me!”

And then Umbredoom jumped back in, how noble!

Golduck: “We don’t got time for this, I have a baby on the way!!”

Cait: “Oh, this is so unfortunate.”

Umbredoom: “Well hell, what am I supposed to do about it?!”

Well I assumed you jumped in to save Cait from drowning, so I guess you better do THAT?!

Umbredoom: “Saving people is hard.  Besides, I’m tired of messing around in the pool, I’m calling it a day.”

Cait: “My friend, why are you betraying me.  Oh noooooo.”

Cait was real good about showing virtually no emotion about dying on her first day in Barnacle Bay.  I guess I got to credit her for that. As much as this is still a WTF moment…

Golduck: “PLEASE SOMEONE HELP”

Cait: *ded*

Dan: “Think we should have done something about this?”

LaShawn: “Considering I haven’t done a damn thing since I came out side?  Nah.”

Umbredoom: “Oh no, I killed one of my best friends!  I didn’t want her to die, really I didn’t!  I’m so sorry Cait, please don’t haunt me!”

Look at this poor dog.  He really is guilty and sorry.

Umbredoom: “I also have three pupils, but that’s off topic, I miss you already, Cait!”

Rochelle: “I’m back, I don’t know how and I don’t know why, but I’m back on the lot againHOLY SHIT GOLDUCK THAT’S A FETUS!  LASHAWN, HELP THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILD ALREADY, WHY ARE YOU JUST IGNORING HER LIKE THIS?!”

LaShawn: “Jeez Rochelle, there are too many things going on at once, I can only focus my attention on one of them at a time!”

Cait: “Please, when you send me to the afterlife, take my tombstone with you, I don’t want it left here with these crazies.”

Death: “Sigh, what am I going to do with the lot of you…”

Death: “Oh no, I’m the bringer of death and despair I don’t know how to bring a child into the world!  Someone call my agent, this isn’t part of my job description!”

Rochelle: “Oh, you took Cait away from us!  Why death why?! I only knew her for a day, but she was the best roommate I could ever have!  Oh boo hoo!  My gloves still smell like her clothes detergent!”

Golduck: “Seriously guys?”

LaShawn: “Keep doing the good job babe, I’m gonna go eat a sandwich.”

Rochelle: “Really?  Even I came back to show my support, and he couldn’t even freak out for you once.”

Death: “ASDFJGHKJGFDLKT”

Golduck: “My first beautiful child!  And what a wonderful little boy he is!  I shall name you Butterfree!”

Death: “Like, after the bug?  That’s lame, lady.  You’re lame.  You should name him Thanatos.  Or Charon.”

Golduck: “No one wants to name a baby after you, Death.  Go away.

Butterfree is a little party animal, with an artistic side to him as well.  Named after one of the cutest butterfly themed pokemon that ever existed, he’s bringing in the first of the lavender-themed generation!

Golduck: “Oh, what is this?  I’m still in labor, why, this can’t be…”

Golduck: “Twins!  Who knew I’d be having twins!  I shall name you Venomoth, and you will be mommy’s little girl!”

I think this is actually my first set of twins I have ever had in the sims 3.  I’ve had triplets before I’ve had twins, but this should be interesting anyway.

Venomoth here is a party animal like her brother (Geodude’s genes are strong with these) and she’s a genius.

I think Venomoth was an under-appreciated bug pokemon.  Under Butterfree, it’s definitely a favorite bug of mine.  But then again, I love the color purple, so I think this whole generation is going to be my favorite!

We’ll wrap this chapter up with Rochelle now trying to kill herself, still suffering under the fact that she now has to go through this world without Cait.

Rochelle: “Why, why won’t you just eat me up, cowplant?!”

Miltank: “You smell like death and decay, lady.  Please.  Go clean up from that zombie mess you were dealing with a few hours ago and check back on me then, will ya?”

Next chapter will bring about the focus on the new generation, a new house, and more pokemon-ness!

The Case of the Lapras Love Triangle

Heeeeey, it was valentines day two days ago and oh well.  This chapter will have none of that.  Weeelllll… I do like Valentine candy, eh, have last year’s gif:

Happy belated Valentine’s day and stuff.

Last chapter, we lost our beloved Ferby. But our young couple Golduck and LaShawn learned to move on with the power of love… in a hot tub.  Let’s see where they go from there.

Well

Ok, I blame a mod I have been meaning to take out of the game for this one.

Golduck: “I came to this park to search for missing sim, but after carefully inspecting just this sidewalk edge, I can tell you he isn’t here.”

Great detective work, Golduck.  I hope you get a promotion.

Golduck: “But I can tell that my dad’s birthday party crap is still here from ages ago!  I mean, damn!  What’s with that?!  When is my father ever going to come back here and get rid of that stuff?”

Um…

Houndoom: “GAWD, I hate ants!  They are so itchy and they crawl all over me and bite, and I HATE IT.”

Houndour: “Uh dad, I think you mean to say you hate fleas.”

Houndoom: “No, I mean ants.  They live in your fur and drink your blood and the baths we need afterwards don’t make it any better.”

Houndour: “Dad, no, those are fleas, we don’t like fleas.”

Houndoom: “No backtalk”

Damien: “Well, what do you know, here comes the repo man today…”

Good, I hope he’s here to take you away.  You and your day-haunting bullshit.

But in all seriousness, that’s crap.

He took away our dead gnome’s gravestone, who takes away a gravestone?!  ‘Oh you haven’t been paying your taxes on crap, let me come and take away something that costs pretty much nothing to you, that makes sense.’

Goodbye Agumon.  You were a good gnome.

Rockefeller: “Alright asshole, you came and took our Agumon away, now it’s time to go before I rip you a new one, buster!”

Marcelo: “Yo, is this dawg gettin’ fresh wid’ me?!  Homie ain’t havin’ dat!”

Then the asshat took our television.

Marcelo: “It’s gawn’ look great in mah crib!  Balla daddy….”

Rockefeller: “Getting real tired of your shit, bro.”

Marcelo: “I’m getting tired of my shit too 😦 damn this job sometimes…”

But then he went out back and took another dead gnome gravestone, because if you are going to disgrace one dead being, might as well go for the matching set I suppose.

AND THEN HE TOOK oh, not the cowplant, but the cowplant arcade game.  That’s a little less painful I suppose… considering this is the fourth thing he’s taken.

Miltank: “Good thing he’s not taking me.  I could use a snack right about now, even as greasy as he looks like.”

Rockefeller: “Alright.  You going to leave quietly or do I have to kick some ass up here?!”

Marcelo: “…Alright fine.”

AND THEN THIS PRICK TAKES THE CAT HOUSE

HE TOOK MEOWTH’S AND SKITTY’S CAT HOUSE

WHAT A REAL DICK

Rockefeller: “I don’t understand…”

Rockefeller: “Why the cathouse?  What has it ever done to deserve this?”

Umbredoom: “I like this guy.  He don’t play by the rules.  That’s badass.”

Then Marcelo realized that he had taken something out of the dog’s room, and all the dogs in there were pretty pissed off, so to keep from becoming a chewed up carcass, he warped himself out of the house.

Rockefeller: “Well that’s all good and all I suppose.  Because you know.  We were going to kill’em.”

Marcelo took off with five of our things and was never seen since.  Too bad he didn’t take that damn singer out on the bridge.  Why can’t she get dragged off in someone’s radiator already?

Golduck: “Man, my job is getting crappier and crappier.  Why am I out hunting people dates?  Valentine’s day was days ago, should have had this done already, people!”

Annie: “I HAD A DATE, AND BOY AM I SUFFERING NOW, BUT DAMN WAS IT FUN”

Her face scares the hell out of me, good lord.

Golduck: “Would you like to go out with Selena?  She’s got a honker on her, but judging by your face, you probably couldn’t do better.”

Marcela: “Why, that’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day!  I’ll consider it I suppose.”

Annie: “ISN’T ANYONE GOING TO HELP MEEEEEEEEE”

Golduck: “Why hello brother!  It’s very nice to… um… well it would be nice to see you if you weren’t so small…”

Apparently since the update Tentacool has been shrunk in a freak accident, just like several others in my game.  Sigh.

Golduck: “Jameel!  I have terrible news!  Your father, he… sniff… he’s a tiny little germ now!  I, sniff, I accidentally stepped on him!  I’m so sorry!”

Jameel: “Sigh, again?  I told him to stop messing with that shrink ray in the basement.  It’s not going to turn him into a giant building crushing tentacruel from Episode 19.”

Selena: “Alright, this is the day!  I finally get to go on a date with a living human being!  I’m ready Golduck!  Who’s my lucky date?!”

Golduck: “Hold up.  You might not get to find out at the moment.  My uterus feels all tingly…”

And then we had generation four on the way 😀

Afterwards, Golduck took on this case.  Chances are you can’t read it because my computer print screens stupidly, but basically, Rhy’s son Hector wants Golduck to find his missing love: Lapras.

You know, our Lapras.  Who dated her sister, and is still freaking married to Larissa.  Yeah.

Golduck: “A, what is wrong with you?  What is wrong with Lapras?!  You’re cousins!  And she’s married!  I won’t take a case that will end with you two bumping uglies, because you are related, dammit!”

Hector: “She’s still your sister, and she’s still missing.  Don’t you want to know what became of your sister at least?”

Golduck: “Fine, but you two better break up after this case is over with.”

Golduck: “Greeeaaat.  Now Lapras is sleeping with everyone.  Dad and dad will roll over in their graves if they haven’t already.”

Golduck: “Hmmm, how to find my missing sister, who is clearly standing in the living room of her own house?  I know, I’ll go through her mail, that will surely find her!”

Now that’s grade A detective work right there.

MEANWHILE LAPRAS IS HAVING BABIES WITH HER WIFE.

Larissa: “I changed my hair to look more like Golduck’s, since that’s what you are into, right Lapras?  Don’t you love me now?!  PLEASE LOVE ME!”

Lapras: “You really need to take some meds, woman.”

Larissa: *insane crying*

Also, while the case was going on, the “heartbroken employer” moved on to another chick in town (thank god).  Sims just… they just don’t know how to actually think.

Golduck: “Yep, there’s my sister, safe and sound.  Case closed.”

Lapras: “How about you come on into my house, bb…”

Golduck: “I really got to get that restraining order sometime…”

Golduck: “Bad news Hector.  When I dug a little deeper, I found out you were dating a con, not the real Lapras, fortunetely.”

Hector: “DAMMIT!  You mean to tell me I’ve been screwing the wrong girl the whole time?! Sheeeet.  Now what do I tell my new girlfriend?”

Golduck: “Uh, nothing, I suppose.  Later.”

Back home, Golduck’s loving boyfriend LaShawn made her own little PI office at home!

And by that, I mean she’s sharing a corner in the dog’s room where the cat castle used to be.

Golduck: “Dayum, that is one fine cleaning man.”

Please stop.

Igor: “That’s right, continue to reorganize Golduck’s little office while I hold this hotdog very suggestively…”

I have a feeling I should have had you fired ages ago.

Houndoom: “I have a feeling my old age is in effect.”

Umbreon: “I’ll say, if you get lost one more time and forget where the dog bowls are, I’m just going to have to get you checked in.”

Igor: “Sip sip, mmm, kinda taste like bee keeper net.”

Yeah, I think it’s time we part ways with you soon, Igor.

LaShawn: “I’m so excited to become a daddy, Golduck!  I’ll admit, the idea that growing alone and heirless was really a stupid idea in the first place.”

Golduck: “Well of course now you don’t have to, unlike LaShawn Sr. of course.  Hey LaShawn, being a doctor, can you tell what the sex of the baby is going to be?”

LaShawn: “Hmm, give me a moment… I’m going to have to call upon the dark forces of the universe for this question…”

Golduck: “Let me guess, you can’t, huh?”

LaShawn: “Yeah, pregnancy and kids aren’t my department, Golduck.  Remember? I specialize in pancreas.”

Meanwhile, while I wasn’t looking, Houndour grew up and whoever’s job it was to put the genes together on this dog was on drugs or something…  two of the white stripes on Houndour’s back are crossing, one of them is running down her front leg, what is with that brown band on her back leg from who knows where… and strangely enough, being born at the same time as her, Umbredoom didn’t grow up today.

Umbredoom: “Um?  Mom?  Really, let me go, I got to go be an adult doggie now.”

Umbreon: “Nooooo, you’re going to be my sweet little baby forever.  I don’t want my baby growing up, now sleep…”

Umbredoom: “Sigh…”

He still has one day to go, so I guess we can wait it out.

For the remainder of her pregnancy, I got Golduck to work on family portraits, namely LaShawn’s first.

I can already tell this one is going to be a failure.

Golduck: “No it’s not!  It’s artistic license.  It’s going to be beautiful.  Look into that moé eye of his and tell me this isn’t going to be the best damn painting in the house.”

So much for that cute eye… oh hell.

Golduck: “My grand magnum opus.”

LaShawn painting: “Please kill me.”

Aaaaand finally, the zombies are back.  And they are back in a bad way.  Not only are they back though, this time, they are back, in the form of SIMSELVES.

Rochelle: “Best part is, you can’t kill us off!  Well, you can, but you and I know you won’t!  Grrrugh!”

Swell.  Just damn swell.

The simselves, which I long meant to add, were finally dumped off into a pair of houses in town, much like this quaint little cottage, from which they will disperse around town and hopefully bring about a diversity in genetics that this town looks like it’s desperately going to need very very soon.

So far I have Rochelle, Mariah, Styx Lady, Starla, Dan, Puddin, Hannah, Poi Boi, Megan,  Skehrer, Elissa, and others I can’t quite remember all because they aren’t all in this photo and I’m too tired to drag that game back open again.  We will definitely see them around town though.

Meanwhile, my simself is kicking back in a cute mini manor and a pink unicorn balloonicorn just because I’m an ass like that (don’t worry, my simself will get her come-uppance, probably in the form of an ugly as butt husband and/or inbreeding children uuuuuughhhh)

Oh, and when I said the zombies are back, I’m actually pretty sure they may be a slight bit worse than before.

Sabrina: “Dammit Starla.  I knew I gave you a damn wig before I set you up in your house.”

Starla: “STARLA DONATED HAIR FOR BRAINS”

Sabrina: “That explains it.  Hardly.”

Red Lips

It’s time for a new chapter, and since last update, LaShawn was moved in, made younger through the goodwill of Ferby, and then went on a date with the oblivious Golduck.  That was really about it, so now we move on to the rest of this chapter.

Kabuterimon: “Woooo, Dead Grandpa!  Paint me like one of your french girls!”

Our gnomes are already kicking the bucket.  It kinda makes me sad now that I think about it.  I kinda wish that Generations didn’t kill the basic gnomes off.  I don’t mind babies, and I don’t mind older gnomes, but isn’t there a way to keep them from aging, or at the least, dying?  It’s just a curiosity, I really don’t mind all that much.

Catrine: “Whoa, Golduck.  Where’d you get that shiner?  LaShawn already beating on you?”

Golduck: “Oh no, that’s just the shitty lighting coming from this sidewalk.  They don’t come from anywhere, and seem to scatter around randomly.”

Golduck: “See?  Just random bullcrap.”

Catrine: “I see… still doesn’t explain your sudden busted up lips.”

Golduck: “Glitchy lipstick.  Damn futuristic makeup procedures.”

Golduck: “Private eye, here to assist!  How may I help you, ma’am?”

Aja: “Not much you can do at this moment, lady.  You’re too late, my date fell in the ocean and is now about to die.  Sigh.  Nothing I can do.  Going to just go home now.”

Golduck: “Wow, swimming in the ocean now?!  I thought that just came in Seasons!  Do we have Seasons now?!”

No, I suspect the recent patch allowed this to happen.  First random romantic attractions and now this.  If this stuff was in the patches, I can only imagine how it worked in the EP prior to it then <_<

Ethan: “That’s cool and all but… I’m, uh… separated from the shoreline from here by a shark and um… I don’t want to die, so can someone come get me a lifeguard and a boat or Chuck Norris and a fishing rod… anything??  Don’t leave me…”

Golduck: “Wait, didn’t I beat the crap out of you a couple chapters ago over a toothbrush?  What are you doing messing with people’s wallets now?!”

Karie: “What is wrong with everyone that they got to blame their junk on me.  I can’t help it if my granddaughter has halitosis, and I can’t help that some egghead can’t keep his wallet in his own pants’ pockets.  I think you are just targeting me now to be mean.”

Golduck: “TALK OR I WILL DESTROY YOU!”

Karie: “THIS ISN’T FUN ANYMORE”

Golduck: “Give back the wallet or else!”

Karie: “I ALREADY TOLD YOU I DON’T HAVE IT!  Dammit, take MY wallet, just leave me alone!”

And then Karie fused with two other old people to become the ultimate Senior Citizen.

Karie: “This isn’t even my final form”

Golduck: “Oh noes, I better move along before it starts telling me about it’s grandkids…”

Ferby and LaShawn were out on the beach at this time, about to try out the new swimming areas.

Ferby: “Did we have to wait out until almost darktime to go swimming by our selves at the beach?”

LaShawn: “Sorry, it was the earliest time I was out of work…”

LaShawn: “Ah, so far so good, no sharks, no danger, this is going perfectly…”

Ferby: “Scary creepy as fuck fog from NO WHERE, I swear to Arceus, LaShawn, if I get attacked by a sea Slenderman I’m dragging you down with me!”

LaShawn: “Sigh…”

Ferby: “Yo, I’m brave, but I don’t like this!  This is freaking me out, LaShawn!  I don’t like the ocean!”

LaShawn: “But you live on an island surrounded by swimming pools, Ferby.”

Ferby: “Slendie’ Squids don’t live in my swimming pool, LaShawn!  Just zombies!  And those are safe.”

I left to go help Golduck take care of a job (left alone, she get’s absent minded and distracted, and pisses people off with her ‘fairies aren’t real’ rants) and come back to Ferby migrating south for the winter.  He’s the tiny blue dot in the right of the picture, by the way.

Ferby: “Screw you guys, I’m going home!”

LaShawn: “But… you’re going the wrong way… Ferby?!  The house is over there!”

Ferby: “I am a mermaid.”

I see you are getting more comfortable in the water.

Ferby: “Wait, who are you?!  You aren’t my house!”

Or confused, I don’t know when it comes to you, Ferby.

OH LORD

SWIM, FERBY, SWIM LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT

Ferby: “I made it.”

Oh good, I’d hate for this to be the way you go out Ferby.

I wanted to see if he was able to go all the way to the edge of Barnacle Bay’s skybox, but I was worried that he could drown if out there (he’s a slow swimmer)  I’d still like to know, so I might try later, with another sim.  Presumably one I hate.  Like Shark Racket.  He seems like a good drowning candidate anyway.

Ferby: “I have survived the ocean, and now I must clean the salt off my body!”

LaShawn: “That’s for sure, because fish have sex in that nasty wate-oh.   You are going to lick yourself clean.  That’s… fine I suppose…”

Golduck: “Not a second goes by, always so busy busy busy…”

Golduck: “Can I help you guys?”

Houndoom: “Just checking in, don’t get to see you a lot anymore, Golduck!  How’ve you been?!”

Umbreon: “Who is this bitch?!  I mean, I might have seen her around before, but I have no clue!”

Rockefeller: “I don’t know who she is at all!  Is the the mailman?”

Umbreon: “Wait a tick, I thought you were dead, Rockefeller.”

Houndoom: “Yeah, I had thought that you would have been moved out by now, Rockie.”

Rockefeller: “Yeah… I’m still here, haven’t figured that out myself.”

Golduck: “Well I better be off now, got to go work… Umbreon, stop sniffing my crotch.”

Umbreon: “Well stop standing in my neck.”

Golduck: “I have hacked your computer and changed your records around.  You can now have that sergery that will take your brain out of that flea’s body and put it back in your human body, Jameel.”

Jameel: “Sweet.  Because I’ve had people step on me four times today.”Golduck: “Oh Arceus, please don’t let this be who I think it is calling me…”

Golduck: “Sigh, Lapras I’m working, I really don’t want to hear your drunken ramble about ‘how you want me to come back’.  We’ve already been over this, I know this sucks that you are considered my ex girlfriend now, but this is getting out of hand. Are you trying the pouty lip thing over the phone, Lapras?  It doesn’t work like that.”

Golduck: “Isn’t Tanika a little old to be committing theft crimes like this?”

Rhy dying on her left a pretty empty hole in her heart, I suppose.

Golduck: “Tanika!  Give the credit card back or I’m turning you in!  Don’t make me do this to my own aunt!”

Tanika: “Bitch better back off if you know what’s good for ya.”

Golduck: “Look, I don’t want to get you in trouble, auntie… here, just take a $100 and give me the card and we’ll pretend this didn’t happen.”

Tanika: “Hoe, this ain’t gonna cover my pedicures!”

Golduck: “Oh come on, that’s all I have on me, Tanika!”

Eventually Tanika forgot where she was and Golduck got the card back safe and sound.

Golduck: “It’s actually nice to be home for once and spend time with the dogs.  I actually missed this.”

Rockefeller: “I still haven’t any idea who this woman is.”

Houndoom: “Why are you still living here…”

Golduck: “Please don’t be who I think it is… dammit Lapras!  Two times in one day?!  Are you that desperate?!  I’m with LaShawn now, you know!”

Ferby: “I’m starving!  Who wants sandwiches tonight?!”

Golduck: “Who was that?  That was dad, Lapras.  Oh he’s fine, he’s in the kitchen cooking dinner right now!”

Golduck: “Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I think.  Yeah, I think it’s a first for us, dad just recently gained a new skill point cooking and everything!  I really hope he doesn’t add that “special ingredient” he always puts in everything.  Everyone knows it’s mustard.”

Golduck: “Oh, you know dad!  Always tinkering around with food, thinking he’s some big time master chef!  I mean, I’m not complaining, he does good!  But you know… lay off the mustard from time to time, there’s no way all that mustard is good for him and his health.”

Golduck: “Oh hold up, let me walk into the other room for a bit.  Someone’s playing loud ominous organ music and I can’t hear a word you’re saying.”

Ferby: “Well, I guess that’s that.  I really don’t have any regrets, Death.  I just want to be with my Geodude again, so let’s not waste any time, and take me on over to the afterlife.”

Death: “Alrighty then!”

Death: “Say, would it be alright if we took some of those sandwiches with us?!  I like PB&J.”

Ferby: “Sure, help yourself!”

And there went our sweet Ferby 😦  I tried to keep him from drowning, he dies the next day anyway.  He reached his LTW and lived a good life after all the crap he had to put up with as a townie.  Later Ferbs.

Golduck: “Well, I better let you go, Lapras!  I can’t wait to go eat!”

LaShawn: “Oh no, not you Ferby… you were my best friend…”

Death: “SNAP OUT OF IT SISSY”

Rockefeller: “Death outta nowhere!”

Umbreon and Houndoom: * Solemn pouting*

Golduck: “Well were the crap did dad go?!  My word.  He could have at least finished dinner before wondering off somewhere again.  He better not be playing with the cowplant again.”

LaShawn: “Yeah… about that Golduck…”

Golduck: “Aw, what’s wrong, LaShawn?  You look like you’ve been crying!”

LaShawn: “I’m so sorry, Golduck!  I’m just so shocked and saddened by the loss in the family!”

Golduck: “There there, LaShawn, I’m sure if LaShawn Sr. could see you now he wouldn’t want you to be so down!”

LaShawn: “Sigh…”

LaShawn: “Well, I’m happy that you aren’t depressed, dear.  I wouldn’t want a pretty little thing like you saddened…  I promise as long as I’m around, you aren’t ever going to be sad, ok?”

Golduck: “Oh, you are so sweet, LaShawn!  How about we go hop in the hot tub right quick together…”

LaShawn: “Sounds like an idea…”

LaShawn: “Oh BOO HOO HOO, EVERYONE IS JUST DYING ON MEEE”

Golduck: “Calm down, LaShawn, it’s going to be ok!  Jeez!

Golduck: “I’m really glad to have met you, LaShawn.  You are so much better than my sister.”

LaShawn: “Uh sure… thanks…”

And then the woohoo’d, because Ferby would have wanted it.