A Tale of Two Skitties

Wow, it’s been over a month since I updated right?  Gee, what happened last time?  Tentacool and Geodude had birthdays, and there was a pantless teen hooker in the house.  Yes.  Who’s ready for some Pokemon approved by PETA?!  Or maybe not.  I do abuse these dumbasses sometimes.

Lapras: “I suddenly have this urge and want to go to prom.  I guess it’s prom time?”

I suppose so.

Kasumi: “Gyarados, I was mentally alerted that it’s soon to be prom time, and if you don’t mind, I would like to take you as my date, if you say yes.”

Gyarados: “Sounds swell.  You better put out.”

Tentacool: “Aw, my sister and my adopted sister are now dating each other.  I see nothing wrong with this.  It could be worse I suppose.”

The day after was Tentacool’s wedding day, so the whole family went to the beach for that.

Geodude: “Ah, my eldest child is getting married today.  I never thought I’d live to say that.  Honestly, you were supposed to stay a baby forever in my mind and I’m supposed to be 25 forever…”

Tentacool: “But dad, I’m 21 years old.  That will at least make you about sixty-”

Geodude: “SHUSH, no, don’t say that nasty S word.”

Marvin: “You must be my grandson.  Tentacool, correct?  And who must this strapping young lady be, hm?  Is this the blushing bride?”

Tentacool: “Uh… no this is my aunt.”

Marvin: “Well then.  Show’s you what I know.”

And what wedding isn’t complete without a nudist party crasher.  Go figure.

LaShawn: “Everyone is going to think this is so funny!”

Sigh.

Gyarados: “I hope they hurry up with this wedding already!  I’m starving.  I wonder what we will eat at the reception…”

LaShawn: “I know what there will be!  Hotdogs!  Hahaha!  Actually, I only have one hotdog… so…”

Onix: “Ooooh, that was such a lame joke!  And PLEASE!  PUT ON SOME PANTS, LASHAWN!”

Geodude: “Never thought we’d be here, you know?  Our oldest, getting married?”

Ferby: “I know!  And after this, it’s going to be  grandbabies.  Man, are we getting old or what?”

Geodude: “DAMMIT FERBY!”

Ferby: “What?”

Geodude: “You said OLD AGAIN!! WAAAAAH”

Ferby: “…”

It was a nice little swimsuit wedding too 🙂

Even if the father of the bride burned the hot dogs.

LaShawn: “Hmmm, hot dogs.  Speaking of hot dogs, anyone want to hold my-”

Please go home, creeper.

Ferby: “Dad, why are you so sad?  Are you still upset over the death of what’s-her-ugly-face?”

Marvin: “Oh Ferby!  She was your step mother!  Just because you never met her before in your life doesn’t mean you could call her that… she was all I had left in the last few years of my life on this planet.”

Ferby: “Jeez dad, I’m sorry… I actually feel really bad for you, and I will probably regret saying this, but I want to take care of you in your old age, like the good son I am.  I want to move in with you, but I can’t leave my family like that.  How about you move in with me?”

Marvin: “I would love to, son.  I promise, you won’t even know I am there!”

Ferby: “Cool!  I finally have a daddy!”

Then I noticed, when Marvin moved in, of course we gained him and his puppy, but we also got another Skitty.  For whatever crazy-ass reason.

I THINK that it started back when Skitty went missing and ‘reappeared’ as that Nancy Cruz cat… but what if Skitty never ‘left’ as Nancy, and I added Nancy, and adding another family member just triggered the real Skitty to show up again??

That being said, still, where the hell did this Nancy Cruz/Skitty 2.0 come from?!

Also, if you haven’t already noticed, Tentacool moved out with his wife as soon as they were wed.  Hopefully we will hear from them soon again.

Anyway, back to the Skitty/Skitty problem.

Skitty: “So YOU are the cat that has been with my family while I was on vacation from them!  Greetings!”

Skitty: “What do you mean, your family?  I’ve been here forever since I was a kitten, this is my family!”

I think the Skitty that showed up after Marvin moved in is the real Skitty since she has all her traits, including the hunter trait.  “Nancy Cruz”, the one that has been in the past few chapters, didn’t have that trait, now that I think about it.  So “new” Skitty is real Skitty, and Skitty that was already here is not our Skitty.

Man, I’ve confused myself.

Geodude: “I will accept my husband randomly moving in old family members, but remember, I’m the best looking geriatric mutha’fuka in this house!”

Houndoom: “Oh.  I can’t eat the trash here… the can is actually right side up.”

Yes, Marvin’s puppy, who used to be Rusty, was renamed Houndoom for the theme.

Is best dog.

Skitty: “Zzzz…. mmm food…zzzz…”

Skitty: “Heeeeey…. I was going to sleep on that exact same spot on the floor…”

Skitty: “Zzzz… great minds think alikezzz….

Um, guys, there are BEDS right behind you two.

Lapras: “Still being best sister in the world, reading to little Golduck, yes sir yes sir!”

As much as I think this is sweet, Tentacool reading to Lapras when she was a baby is still the most precious thing in the world.  Maybe because Golduck isn’t as cute of a toddler.  I don’t know.

Now THIS is cute

Especially since they found their color coordinated beds 😀  because this will never happen again.

Ferby: “MAO MAO, Lapras, QUICK!  Guess who I am!”

Lapras: “One of our stupid-ass cats?”

Ferby: “BINGO!”

Gyarados: “I do admit, this does melt my cold little heart.”

Who doesn’t love watching cats play in a house that probably costs more than my car in real life?!

Gyarados: “OH.  I suddenly felt a disturbance in the force.”

Geodude: “A DISTURBANCE IN THE FORCE!??!? *punches through daughter’s boob*”

Skitty: “It appears that I am dying.  Which is terrible, as I just returned home last night to my family 😦  as the real, original Skitty, I’m sure this will break my family’s heart.”

Nancy/Skitty: “Whaaaaat?!  You were the real Skitty?!”

Houndoom: “Don’t fake surprise Nancy, you knew that from the beginning.”

Gyarados: “Bwahahaha!  Another death in the family!  This one had no party or major event tied to it, but I can live with this!”

Geodude: “Seriously.  Why didn’t we take you to a psychiatrist when you were younger?”

Skitty: “Well, I’m going to go now.  Houndoom, you are new, but protect my old family for me, ok?”

Houndoom: “Will do my best.”

Skitty: “Nancy, stop looking at me stupidly like that.”

Nancy/Skitty: “Whaaaat?  But I thought I was the real Skitty…”

No dear, you weren’t.

After Death took away our cat, for some reason, he got hostile with the one person he had any relationship points with.  Go figure.

Death: “I hate your shitty house!  All this blinding bright ass blue balls blue, the whole stupid water theme despite the hydrophobic living here, and all you idiots walking around in damn bathing suits, half naked and stupid!  I DESPISE coming to this stupid place!”

Gyarados: “GASP!  Death, how could you say that, I idolized you!”

Gyarados: “You damn prick, you come into my house, take my cat, and then insult MY home?!  Take it back, give the cat back, OR face my wrath!”

Death: “Humph! Try it little girl!”

Gyarados: *slapslapslapslapslap*

Geodude: “Yep, she’s going to be the next one to die :(”

Death: “Screw you guys, I’m going home.”

Gyarados: “That was for you, Skitty.”

Real Skitty was buried next to her best friend Meowth on the patio, where an obviously confused stray has taken up space on our furniture.

Lapras: “Oh little Blastoise, the little turtle Skitty brought to me as a child and traumatized me for years to come, I miss that sweet little furball so much :(”

Blastoise: “Honestly, I don’t know how I’m alive, considering I don’t recall ever actually having any attention paid to me…”

Thinking it may help with the family’s grief, I hired everyone their own little cheer up song-a-gram, thinking maybe it would help.  After all, it was a cheer up song-a-gram.

Lapras: “Oh it’s so sweet!  And so cute!  And so pink!  Just like our dear SKITTY *tears*”

Nah, it didn’t help.

Especially, not for Marvin.

Songstress: “GAH!  Who knew tap dancing in four inch heels would twist my ankle!”

Songstress: “Am I still getting paid for this, right?”

Marvin: “Please get away from me.”

Geodude: “Damn!  All this #swagg, how to I keep the bitches off of me?!”

Lapras: “As long as dad doesn’t look in a mirror… whoever buzzed that haircut on him at work is going to get fired soon.”

Lapras: “Well, I’m ready for prom, and I hope my late-decision prom date is ready for it as well!  I swear, if she isn’t at least wearing panties for this thing, I will leave her at a truck stop.”

Kasumi: “Oh… PLEASE tell me she didn’t invite the date I am thinking she invited…”

Gyarados: “Oh, she invited her alright…”

Larissa: “Damn, I can’t remember the last time I’ve been in a limo!  Ok, I lied I do, and it involved three older business men…”

No, I don’t want to know about it, nor did I ask, Larissa.

Lapras: “Is she coming or is she staying on the sidewalk?”

Gyarados: “Trust me, knowing her, she’s coming right there on that sidewalk.”

Kasumi: “Driver, if you don’t mind, can we stop by a dollar general or something right quick?  We are going to need to pick up a pair of panties before we go to school…”

While the girls were out, it was also time for Golduck’s birthday!

And here she is, and I think she’s artistic?  I don’t know, I don’t want to look it up right now

PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME *cries*

Marvin: “Also, it’s my puppy’s birthday today as well!  Yay Houndoom!”

Marvin: “Look, I’m a multi-tasker!”

Please don’t drop that cake on the floor.

Houndoom: “Mmm, I smell waffles.”

Golduck: “Well I have cake.  Get over it.”

Back at prom:

It was a good prom for the girls.

Of course, it wasn’t for Nancy/Skitty.

Death: “Sorry about that, I forgot one the last time I was here.  Just returning to pick her up.  Yep.”

Skitty: “Aw…”

Golduck: “Poor kitty!  I hardly knew you, but you will be in my heart forever.”

Death: “And you will be in my stomach for at least a few hours-I MEAN time for the afterlife, kitty!”

Houndoom: “Sup.  What I miss?”

Golduck: “Nothing, just the death of the cat, your only other animal companion on the lot, that’s all…”

I will end this chapter with some prom portraits.

I’m SO glad I gave Larissa some underwear for that outfit.  I really don’t think Lapras wants a vagina in her prom photos.

And of course here’s Gyarados skanking it up on Kasumi. How precious they are!

And I don’t think I showed Tentacool’s prom pic from his prom a while back.  Here he is.  Alone and losery and talking to a streetlight.