Lately, Kelsey has been putting everyone that peeves her on frog curse duty. Beedrill grew up into a child and both Electabuzz and Sabrina grew up into teenagers. The game then announced that, even with the mod, Electabuzz cannot be both a mermaid and a wizard, because never in the history of ever has there ever been sea witches.
Never heard of them.
Because of this, he gets spat back out of the ocean when he goes into it, so before much longer he’ll probably just be a poor, unfortunate warlock.
We now return to Sabrina up at the ass crack of dawn laughing at two horse gnomes sexing in the back yard.
Sabrina: “No? No. They are just… hehe. Spooning. Hehehehehehehehehehe”
And then SPRING ARRIVED and I decided how many snowman can I CRAM ON THIS LOT BEFORE THE SNOW DEPARTS
Jigglypuff: “What did I sign myself into…”
Sabrina: “I’m putting a big rock in this one :)”
Keldeo: “No, no this is not what I wanted at all. Can’t a man go on a frenzied run around his yard without idiots doing idiot things in the provided pathway???”
Just be careful and don’t smash into them, seeing as one has a boulder the size of a small boulder hidden in one of them.
Anyway, with all the family taking turns between building and their personal needs, we made it to the far side of the house, before they started to melt on their own. Unsure if its because spring is coming or if there’s just too many snowmen on the lot.
It’s an experiment I do not care to explore in the future.
Kelsey: “Either way, we all decided to keep trucking and building more until the whole yard is riddled with them! So come on, Electabuzz! Join us, so we can get this over with and go put on some pants!”
Electabuzz: “You… do know you can build snowmen with your clothes on, right mom?”
Sabrina: “Nonsense! Now strip them pants off, mister and go find me another large rock! I’m hiding that one in the torso.”
I made it to the front yard before I myself lost interest.
Slowpoke: “Alright, I’ve stripped down to nothing but my underwear like you asked, Kelsey. I’m ready to make snowmen. I guess.”
Jigglypuff: “Celebrating making 69 snowmen by partying hard before my next gig has never been so fun!”
Gengar: “She calls it partying… looks like she’s broken every bone in her body.”
Um. Intresting? I have never gotten this message before.
Drowzee: “When I told him I wasn’t “Dimebag Darrell” and he shouldn’t call 6 year old girls at 2 am he apologized and hung up. Wonder what that was about.”
Best we never know.
Anyway, off to Jigglypuff’s latest… delimma.
Jigglypuff: “I can’t perform like THIS!! Under THESE CONDITIONS!! What is the MEANING of this!?!”
There is NOTHING WRONG with this set up… there is no NEED to be this level of Diva, Jigs.
Jigglypuff: “I call BS and demand to speak to the stage manager NOW!!”
Lady: “Here’s an idea. Uhhhh. Give us refund.”
I love it when I a game works.
Gengar: “If Jigglypuff doesn’t have to work because her stage is busted, then I SURELY can’t work either!”
BITCH, YOU WERE JUST ON THAT STAGE DOING FINE A SECOND AGO
Gengar: “And with that ladies and gentleman, I bring the show to a close. Thank you for coming out and don’t follow me home with any bats and pitchforks please.”
Man: “Wow. Totally worth my 17 seconds of time.”
Back at Jigglypuff’s gig… and there’s a brawl in the back parking lot.
We really are on the classy side of town.
Ah, it’s just Brianne dragging a PARAMEDIC through the dirt. Nothing to see here folks.
Brianne: “THAT’S WHAT YOU GET YOU PERVERT”
Thaddeus: “YOU DUMB BROAD I WAS TRYING TO REVIVE AN OVERDOSE IN THE BATHROOM WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU”
Great to see Jigglypuff has given up and is holding her show in front of the garage door. FACING THE WRONG WAY.
Demond: “I put a helmet on her so she’ll be safe when she bangs her head into the walls.”
Jammie: “I hate my family.”
Jigglypuff: “It’s the proprietor’s fault. Yeah, this is all his doing, with his, uh. Bad life choices. Yeah. I’m going to go harass him now.”
Gengar: “Oh come on. Just leave the place a shit review on Yelp or whatever it is so we can go home already.”
Jigglypuff: “I TOLD YOU TO SERVE OUT THE GOOD GLACIAL SPARKLING WATER AND NOW YOU’VE COMPLETELY RUINED MY SHOW”
Proprietor: “I hardly had anything to do with the set up, why are you blaming me for it…”
Brianne: “Oh eff OFF Jigglypuff, I’m ordering food here and you’re making it take longer with your bullshit!”
Gengar: “Speaking of food can I get uhhhhhhhh a tofu burger, with onion rings instead of fries, no ketchup, no mayonnaise, and double mayochup. And a large fry.”
Jigglypuff: “Yeah thanks grandma for butting in I’m trying to brawl here.”
Brianne: “FUCK THIS ESTABLISHMENT I’M TAKING MY BUSINESS TO WENDYS”
Gengar picked up a fortune cookie from the fortune teller on the way home.
Fortune teller: “I’m just happy someone remembered I was here and I got business.”
Speaking of people wearing orange. That was a sign to check up on the very elusive Parasect.
He’s still out there minding his business. Marrying a new old woman every week. Nothing’s changed.
Alanah: “I’m so glad you finally decided to marry me. Now we can have children together and live our very happy life together.”
Parasect: “Err, I don’t know about that second bit, doll.”
Gengar: “I’m just here to delete his whole Tinder page but I decided to steal the motherboard instead. Same thing.”
I haven’t been keeping close attention on Parasect lately, but I’m pretty sure he’s still living in the house of a previous wife, with that woman’s brother and niece, and he’s just moving new wives into this house as long as he’s allowed to live here.
Parasect: “And to think I could still be living in the $5 million mansion on the hill if my own sons didn’t give me the boot first.”
Alanah: “I thinking of naming our own child Rutabaga. Wouldn’t that be cute.”
Back at home, Electabuzz finally lost his mermaidism, ending the struggling lineage of his great grandmother.
Electabuzz: “That or Scotty’s giving me that good beaming.”
Electabuzz: “Nah it’s the mermaid thing. Oh damn son. I’m naked now.”
Welcome to normal life I guess.
Raccoon: “Hehehehehehe sneaky”
Raccoon: “What the shit? Who puts a whole ass barn in my way, can’t you see I’m trying to get into the barn?!”
Go lay your demon eggs somewhere else you goblin.
Electabuzz: “Finally. Without my ocean curse I can now, uh, actually get in the ocean. The world is my oyster. And I am but a small Shining Pearl.
Electabuzz: “Uuuuuuuuhhhhhh”
He’s a little water shy, he’ll warm up to it eventually.
Oh damn. What a tragedy. I’m sure Slowpoke will miss him probably never.
Slowpoke: “How could there be so many snowmen out here already”
With the arrival of spring come more swimmers already, and Ari is one of the first to suffer an ass cramp.
Ari: “Don’t let this be how everyone finds out I actually can’t fly”
Rest of the family came and the rest of the family don’t care.
Gengar and Kelsey: *Try to escape responsibility by swimming across the Simlish Channel*
Slowpoke: “You’re lucky I took a hit of speed this morning Ari. These rip tides are brutal and can sweep you up so fast that even I normally could never reach you in time.”
Ari: “That’s always horrible to hear, thanks.”
Ari: “Anyway speaking of rip tides, lol”
Latoya: “HELP I GOT LOST IN THE SUPERMARKET”
Slowpoke: “Sigh, it’s going to be a long day, huh…”
Honestly this is a good sign. Pad that LTW up.
Latoya: *Decides to take a fat L instead*
Slowpoke: “Not on MY watch”
Ari: “Hehehe I lied I’m not actually drowning, I tricked you for attention. I’m fine and actually a pro swimmer.”
Don’t care, we are still counting you towards rescues so IDC.
Ari: “But I’ll admit having a floatie was nice and kinda fun to hold onto, oh if only I hadn’t flung it into oblivion. Now all I have to hold onto is the memory of it…”
Dead guy: “Oh to have some CPR and not have my heart not beating for once”
Slowpoke: “Busy day out there, Granny! Be safe and don’t eat more than 11 grams of food before going in the deep end!”
Gengar: “Thanks and all but don’t you think you’re missing something, hon? Something important, that will help you swim, perhaps? Your own tail maybe??”
Slowpoke: “Yeahhhh… pretty sure it’s still at the dryer back at the house :(“
While Slowpoke breathes down that guy’s throat, Patrick decided to join in the rip tide fun.
Patrick: “I came out to save my baby brother and remembered I actually can’t swim!! Help me Ari!!”
Ari: *Has caught that outgoing current and actually needs rescue again*
Patrick: “Oh THANK GOD you’re here! See, I was drowning and thought to grab onto this passerby but she sucks at swimming and keeps sinking and is soooo unhelpful so I need you to man up and save me instead!!”
Slowpoke: “You can’t be serious.”
Patrick and Cathy: *Unceremoniously dumped off on shore while Slowpoke goes back for YET ANOTHER drowning swimmer*
Patricia: “Ooooh, is that an ocean rave going on out there? Haha, wow! Count me in!”
Donnell: “HELP WATER IS IN MY PANTS”
Slowpoke: “Alright, you know what? Everyone form a neat, calm, line and I’ll get to each of you in order of who was afflicted first.”
Patricia: *Has made it to the rave* “You know what this isn’t as fun as you guys made it out to be”
Slowpoke: “I’m glad I thought ahead and packed so many of these giant floaties with me today.”
Slowpoke: “Hmmmm, I still can’t seem to clear the water out of Cathy’s lungs. It’s almost like something or someone just keeps SPLASHING WATER DOWN ON HER FACE WHILE I DO CPR, DONNELL CAN YOU FUCK OFF”
Donnell: “Hehe, beachy happy fun time :)”
The end of Slowpoke’s shift brings the usual start to Jigglypuff’s and/or Gengar’s shifts. And Jigglypuff hardly needs my help anymore.
Jigglypuff: “A natural born talent like me has no trouble raking in the fans.”
Donte: *Has accepted life as a pantsless vagabond*
Chad: “Now you on the other hand… are you actually going to perform an actual magic show? Or are you here just to make a fool of me yet again?”
Gengar: “I honestly wish I could say this is all just a big scam and a way to worm money out of your funding but I swear I’m trying really hard with this job! And I’m going to make this the best show you, and your patrons have ever seen!!”
Gengar: “I hate my job. I hate my life. I hate all of you. I hate magic. This sucks.”
Harmony: “A POX ON YOUR HOUSE”
Then I remembered there are a couple of LTW awards that could possibly make it easier to not suck at performance jobs, so we dug down into Gengar’s point savings, and loaded her up with both “that was delibarate” and “engaging”, in the hopes that they help with this dreaded career.
Gengar: “You heard that, wand? I dug deep in my LTW-Crypto currency wallet for your ass so you BETTER produce some good convincing magic for once!”
Harmony: “Amazing!! Wondiferous!! Best show I have ever seen!! I’m still going to write a shit review for it though.”
I guess it worked I think.
Chad: “What a wonderful show! A performance for the ages!”
Butterfree: “What the hell, dude. Don’t lie to her like that. What is the point of buttering her up for for that performance, that was bull.”
Richie: “Amazing! This is the best thing I have ever seen in my life!! I LOVE this place and I LOVE frogs!!”
Juliana I think: “YEAAHH!! …Wait are we talking about the show or me”
Gengar: “As long as they don’t chase me after the show and demand a refund, I think I’m good.”
And due to me working extra hard to not have Gengar perform a shitshow of a show, I ignored a birthday back at the house… came home to find this gremlin stalking the hallways.
Drowzee: “And because of that I’m off to cause problems on purpose.”
She grew up rebellious, so she’s shaping up to be a handful.
Drowzee: “PREPARE FOR TROUBLE!! AND MAKE IT DOUBLE!! Beedrill get over here and get in on this with me”
Beedrill: *Is just happy to be part of this chapter*
Pokemon Rainbowcy 
Drowzee really is just an absolute chaos beast huh. I love her honestly, though I may be biased because Hypno was an absolute beast on my last LeafGreen Nuzlocke ._.