Last time we discovered that dive sites are now even worse than the last time I was at Isle Paradiso. We attempted to test my theory on Drowzee’s Monster Maker LTW and just use potions to turn other sims into other lifeforms and simbots, but that’s just not how the LTW is meant to be played, I suppose. That’s fine. I thought it was worth a try though. Beedrill and Chasity got married and moved out. Immediantly OSHA started riding on their asses about the house they moved into, which, at this point I’m thinking is just a haunted bugged house.
Gengar: “And then we were ignored for the majority of the summer and LOOK it’s already winter. I hardly had time to settle into my summer beachhouse before the lollygagging started. I swear at this rate, I’m going to bypass Ash for the longest surviving Pokemon character in the whole world! Now that he’s dead retired I actually have a shot at it.”
Drowzee: “Alright! New day, new start to my life! Forget making monsters (though I got plenty of potions I can just throw around when I got the down time) this time I know what I want to do with my life for real! Master diver, here I come!”
I decided that I didn’t want Drowzee to turn into an invention bench slave (she doesn’t seem like the type of sim that would want to get her hands too dirty anyway) so we’re poppin’ some LTW points and changing it. She’s now going to be a Deep Sea Diver! Might as well while we’re in the “appropriate” world for that kind of skill.
She’s already mastered the diving skill since she’s a mermaid and all, which feels a little Easy Mode, but selling $40,000 in treasure sounds a bit like the kleptomaniac LTW and we survived that one.
Slowpoke: “Alright sweetheart, you ready to check out this neat dive spot I located the other day? We need to get out and get on with it while it’s still nice and sunny, because it’s supposed to dip into the negatives tonight.”
Drowzee: “Are we sure we didn’t just take the wrong turn on the interstate and end up on a Hudson Bay island chain instead?”
During this trip I realized something. After a minute of swimming instead of TAKING A BOAT TAXI LIKE A NORMAL PERSON Slowpoke quickly pulled ahead. And I thought, haha, Slowpoke is winning a race. How odd. But then realized that Drowzee isn’t tagging along behind him at any pace. Almost like she’s… swimming like a normal sim…
Drowzee? Mermaid mode please??
Drowzee: “Yeaaaahhhh….. about that…..”
…MERMAID MODE PLEASE????
Drowzee: “See here’s the thing, I’m like. Not a mermaid?”
SINCE WHEN
She’s NEVER HAD a “return to land” moodlet, much less one to expire on her! So WHERE’S HER MERMAIDNESS?
Drowzee: “Hehe see yes, so uh, I lied about it? Mostly for more heir votes. It worked, but yeah, faking it is old now. Haha you can’t change your mind now anyway”
AAAAAAAAAAAA
While idiot box swims for like 17 hours to her destination as her punishment, Jigglypuff keeps her grind on.
Peter probably: “Thank you I will take them back to Jesus chilling out next to the boat and he will love them”
Jigglypuff: “I need pants on in this kind of weather”
So another lovely discovery! There’s “no more room” around the island for more plots to be plopped down, so I can’t make any lots for Jigglypuff and Gengar to perform on. I tried making new islands, appropriate sized islands or lots, but when I try to put down anything, it says I can’t. Just can’t. No real good reason other than “not big enough” which is bullshit half the time.
I’m not even going to try that hard for that then. Jigglypuff is just gonna have to grind out to her superstardom on SAGs because this game is donkey ass.
Finally made it to your destination? It’s only noon? Huh, couldn’t imagine what could have prevented that.
Drowzee: “My legs are so tired…”
That’s your own fault.
Drowzee: “Early access to the best diving spots is going to make this a piece of cake. All this treasure should easily be worth a fourth of my goal!”
Sure enough, everything collected on this dive was an easy 8 grand almost. Love the money. The LTW did not. Still said she was at $0 out of her $40k goal. So… treasure doesn’t count towards her treasure selling goal? Fantastic. Great to know.
Drowzee: “At least the beautiful (but also WORTHLESS) sea life around here is fascinating. This is the most beautiful seahorse I have ever seen. Although with the resolution as shitty as it is it could be a floating slice of cheese for all I know.”
This resolution is also still DOG SHIT
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH DIVING SPOTS
Slowpoke: “Welcome to the ocean my dear daughter. We have fish! And if you look to the left, we also have fish.”
Drowzee: “Dad we’ve been here for 7 hours already it’s time to go home.”
While that was going on, Misdreavus had a field trip to the island chain’s science facility!
Sean: “Mrs. La Rosa I’m scared”
Lora: “Remember what we taught you, tolerance and friendship and all that goes a long way, or something like that Sean, now Mx. Pokemon can you like, please sit somewhere else you’re giving me the heebie jeebies.”
Misdreavus: “Please, I just ask for a friend”
The trip takes them to a deserted strip of cold beach that they now have to cross to get to the labs, which I don’t know, would be ok if it wasn’t the dead of winter and they all had to take their own jet skis?
Drew: “I’m less concerned about your concern about our driving around ice floes and more concerned about why there’s a screaming baby out here in the middle of no where?”
Lora: “Oh I see, a boat over a sinking jet ski would have been a better option I suppose the kids are smarter than I give them credit for.”
Meanwhile
You’re still… passing through the cemetery.
Misdreavus: “I keep getting stopped by people who think they knew my dad, keep trying to ask me how he is and all that crap. It’s distracting.”
Misdreavus: “I’m going as fast as I can for someone that doesn’t like to move their legs :(”
Don’t care anymore WHY IS OMAR CARRYING A BABY WITH HIS ASS
Dear GOD no wonder we can hear the baby scream from miles away
Omar: “Baby like my hip sockets though :)”
I’m filing a police report as we speak
In the end, Misdreavus didn’t even reach the beach by the time the field trip was over (why do I have such a hard time with field trips, they should be the easiest thing in the world…), so Misdreavus went back to the cemetary to pout about it.
Misdreavus: “I call this new song I wrote… My Sadness. Ahem…. SOB SOB SOB”
Next day, another attempt at treasure hunting.
Drowzee: “And I see the sharks have already found me.”
Shark: “Baby you lookin’ like a snack and I don’t mean in the sexy way.”
Drowzee: “Do I look like a motherfucker you need to be playing with…”
Shark: “Um. Um. Gee. Huh. Maybe not.”
Not long after Drowzee got resetted back to shore and I didn’t bother documenting it.
Fuecoco: “I see the Song-a-Gram life is going well for you?”
Jigglypuff: “Get osteoporosis, Fuecoco.”
Really can’t leave these people alone for long can I.
Anyway. Hm. I see this is still here.
Nidorina: “I have truly left my legacy behind after all.”
Also great place to dump off the paper, kid. Great access point.
Mandy: “You’re welcome. I already did the sudoku puzzles for you and everything.”
I guess island people really are just built differently.
Mandy: “I’m 4 and a half :)”
I took a two month break here, came back to Tangela grinning sinisterly at the pool.
Tangela: “We meet again old friend. Don’t worry. This will be the year I find out how to set you on fire. See how you like it.”
It wasn’t even the pool’s fault…
Drowzee: “Hm. Really starting to think maybe a diving career in the permanent artic was a bad idea…”
Possibly. Maybe.
Ah great. Already bold enough to pet the sharks.
Drowzee: “Ah no big deal. They like it. They thoroughly enjoy my presence now. Don’t you Mr. Hambone?”
Shark: “Y-yes Mrs. Drowzee, ma’am. Yes I… sobs… I d-do indeed…”
Drowzee: “No. Really. How many times is this going to happen to me this week…”
Aislara: “?? What do you mean? Getting slung out of the ocean is part of the fun around here!!”
So with that I sold what treasure she got from this trip and… 0/$40k.
So I said fuck this. Fuck this LTW. This whole town is dog shit. Between the broken dive holes and the fact that she’s getting no count towards her LTW, it may have only been a few days, but this LTW is getting abandoned too.
Drowzee: “I’m going to cool my hot headedness off in your snowman, ok? Good.”
Karlie: “Wait stop you’re going to knock his head back off…”
Drowzee: “Look! You made an evil snowman! We must be kindred spirits, you and I.”
Karlie: “I need an adult.”
Was about to say Drowzee is just being goofy at this point, but maybe the suit is giving her an extra layer of warmth in this blizzard.
Drowzee: “Ain’t no one on this island seen skills like these before!”
Or a snowboard for that matter, I’m sure.
I see Patrick is adapting to his robotic form quite nicely.
Patrick: “Patr1ck has mastered the skill of rocket boots with ease. Will log this to the memory for future reference.”
Sorry man, memories are turned off.
Drowzee: “Now that I’m a master of boarding, time to show these fools my skills on the skates.”
As long as you don’t fall and pop that oxygen tank everywhere, sure.
Drowzee: “Speaking of explosion hazards, Patrick, do you think you can angle your FIRE FEET further away from, idk, the ICE rink? And myself?”
Patrick: “Patr1ck: Analyzing. Response: mind yo fuckin’ business, hoe.”
Drowzee: “Damn, he getting cocky for a robot.”
Drowzee: “Damn, now it’s all slushy out here!! Dammit, Patrick!!”
Honey: “Good thing I changed clothes mid skate! Never know when I’m going for an unsuspected afternoon dip.”
Honey: “Anyway, are you flirting with me all of a sudden”
Drowzee: “Haha what gave that away”
I never saw that fashion before, but I recognize that fashion from anywhere.
Akoni: “Am I just that rememberable :)”
Jigglypuff: “What a coincidence that I’m somewhere nearby! Driver, step on it. Must get there before he leaves. Do you think he’ll be impressed with my floorboardless luxury limo? All the cool stars have one now.”
Akoni: “Another beautiful romantic song-a-gram, Jigglypuff! What brought this on? I didn’t ask for one!”
Jigglypuff: “Why, my dearest Akoni, these are from me. From my heart. To yours.”
Akoni: “AAAAAAAA no way! Me?! Of all people!?”
Jigglypuff: “Uh. Sure I guess.”
Jigglypuff: “Hopefully he’s now in the middle of leaving and doesn’t notice me taking the biggest MEGA PISS of my life!”
Akoni: “I did… but don’t worry I still your biggest fan. Just don’t slip and pass out in your frozen pee. You look exhausted.”
Gee I wonder if taking the MM you keep in your pocket instead of a floorless limo could have stopped that, Jigs.
Still trying to impress the babes, Drowzee?
Drowzee: “RIDE THEM COWBOY”
Honey: “WHAT, NO DROWZEE YOU CAN’T JUST RANDOMLY BUST A MOVE LIKE THAT I WAS HANGING ON TO YOU!!”
Tariq: “If I skate quietly maybe she won’t see me over here…”
Akoni: “Soooo, is it supposed to be freezing cold back here and uh. Snowing through holes in your roof?”
Jigglypuff: “Haha, don’t be silly my little oompa loompa puff! Of course it is! It’s the trendiest limo they had on the lot! All the cool stars have these whips! Hahahah!! (Driver step on it)”
Akoni: “Fancy hotel, Jigglypuff! This were you hold your after parties, hm??”
Jigglypuff: “You bet! All the cool people come here after my shows. That I have very regularly around the island! Very spontaneous shows, you just have to be there when they happen. Hopefully you’ll catch one of my shows one of these days. Now where’s that front desk clerk? My pits are ranking something thick.”
Lori: “Oh great. You types. We really need to get a sign out there that says for tourist types only.”
Jigglypuff: “Bitch my money is good so be grateful for that. I got a lot of it too. Rolling in it. Making all kinds of bank. By the way, your pipes aren’t frozen over are they?”
Jigglypuff: “Now that we have a room secured for the night, wanna see what kind of afterparty we can have on our own, my hairy hairless bear?”
Akoni: “I never thought you’d ask! Also I’m frozen solid let’s get in an actual ROOM already”
And love. The many hotels around town have a very practical use after all.
Lori: “Hello? Biohazard team?”
Oops, left the house alone for too long again.
Fuecoco: “HURGAGJKDALFKLD”
Should have let the faucets drip, Fue.
Kelsey: “Dammit, Fuecoco! Did you let the ghosts back in the house again? I knew I should have banished them tombstones to the Shadow Realm.”
Fuecoco: “Thanks for fixing the faucet, Fuecoco. Thanks for cleaning the floor, Fuecoco. Thanks for taking care of everything else besides the ghosts and all you do, Fuecoco. Grumble grumble.”
Drowzee: “No, seriously. How am I supposed to eat my breakfast cereal if there’s a chance Parasect’s first wife is gonna pop out and fly up my ass?”
Slowpoke: “By the way Drowzee if you’re going to go out on the ocean today, don’t use this oxygen tank. I think I over filled it and there’s a chance it might explode on me.”
Gengar: “Why is this constantly happening around here”
Kelsey: “Hehe don’t look at me”
Drowzee: “Anyway, now that we are all gathered here in the kitchen, everyone take your phones out. Go ahead and dial the number I have preprogrammed into your phones and if we all do it at the exact same time, my plan should work.”
Sabrina: “UM. What EXACTLY are we doing for you here?”
Drowzee: “You are helping me on my newest and most brilliant LTW yet! Which I have changed YET AGAIN and for good reason. With the LAST remnants of my points. So you assholes better be on the ball with me here.”
Sabrina: “I hardly trust you on this but whatever. Now that it’s over I’m gonna go out and stare at The Meeting of the Illusion and the Arrested Moment by Salvador Dali that I totally didn’t steal out of a museum before we moved here.”
Kelsey: “That’s great you spoon obsessed freak, I’m off to choke my chicken, so bye.”
Drowzee: “You both need to be contained like SCPs.”
Sabrina: “Also Gengar and Misdreavus didn’t cooperate with us on our activity, how is that fair?”
I know right? I don’t ask for much around here.
Misdreavus: *Deep whiff*
Gengar: “You enjoying yourself there, buddy? Having the time of your life? Just absolutely giddy on the sauce?”
Anyway, second part of the plan is happening! Great parking skills for the record here.
Kennel Worker: “OH GOD THIS IS A RENTAL”
Yeah yeah, all I’m saying is there better be four dogs under that snow pile is all I’m saying.
Annnnnd there wasn’t. Asshole brought me one dog, after allowing me to “adopt” and name four of them. Thanks game. I love the adoption system. Always works.
But oooooh! Look at this snoot! A pleasing shape. A great doggie to join our family.
Gengar: “HoooooooOOOGH”
Anyway, spraycan go FFSSS FSSS FSSS
Lucario: “Why”
Fuecoco: “Don’t worry if you go feral and bite them I’ll vouch for you.”
Everyone welcome Lucario, our newest member to the fold! My least favorite doggie type pokemon but that’s because if I see one more R34 work of his furry ass I’m going to implode.
And by the way, in case you haven’t guessed yet, this is the start of Drowzee’s new LTW: The Animal Rescuer. Not very fitting but I feel I’m scrapping the bottom of the barrel.
I wanted to choose the one where she owns all the islands, but for that several quests require going back into those god forsaken dive holes, and I’ll be honest, I’ll probably never go back down in those broken pieces of shit for the rest of the legacy.
Unfortunately, it looks like I can’t just “add” six dogs to the house hold since it’s stuffed. I suppose we just got to make some space or wait for a bit for the family to make some.
Sabrina: “Oh Arceus, does this mean you’re kicking me out? I mean, meow meow, I’m one of the pets you adopted! I made it here after all! Love me for the rest of my life, please.”
Gengar: “Uh, yeah. Good luck getting that one past Drowzee.”
Pokemon Rainbowcy 
I’ve read through this entire legacy in two days, and it’s so much fun!