Last time we added Electrike to the family, and Sabrina had a date with repo robot man Patrick and it ended in disappointment. Jigglypuff went to the store for cigarettes and considered never coming back, but she did, and it was very random and I hope it never happens again. Drowzee began hitting on a lot of sims and playing the field a bit, because I don’t know who I would like to set her up with in this town. And lastly, Patrick proposed to Sabrina who turned him down, probably for ghosting her on the date, but more likely because she’s insane.
A lot of homeless sims were dumped on Electabuzz’s house and they have in turn kicked him out of his own house.
Electabuzz: “THIS IS BULLSHIT!! THIS IS MY HOUSE!! ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!?! I PAY MY MORTGAGE HERE!! MY MORTGAGE!!”
Gavin: “Yeah. Well. Me and Salty been paying the Uber driver for all the Shake Shack shakes so. You’re gonna have to goooo”
I feel that squatter’s reference will age like milk in the next decade or so but whatever.
Sabrina: “OoOooOooh, Patrick promised me a surprise if I close my eyes and open my mouth wide enough!!! I hope it’s a SOUP SPOON! Ouugh! Put it under my tongue you sexy sexy boy!”
Sabrina: “I have been tricked! This isn’t a romantic soup feeding, this is a failed second attempt at giving me an engagement ring! And he’s not even HERE! AGAIN! And it’s RAINING! I’m sending him back with his warranty number.”
Patrick: “I can’t go out there! The RAIN WILL EAT ME ALIVE I mean the FRIDGE! The fridge cannot be opened, and it needs all the emotional support we can give her! I’m here for you friend, I’m here for you…”
PATRICK JUST FUCKIN BRAVE IT FFS
Patrick: “SABRINA. Will you take this RING? And MARRY ME?? PLEASE. I’m RUSTING as we SPEAK in this soggy sand for YOU!”
Sabrina: “OH MY ARCEUS yes!! I can’t wait to be your wife and all that!”
Patrick: “Thank Bird Jesus. Because after you denied me last time, I thought this wasn’t going to work.”
Sabrina: “Yeah well after you ditched me on our date be grateful I’m still here at all.”
Patrick: “Yeah fine that’s fair.”
Jigglypuff: “YES! Romantic SAGs here in this room with these washboards?!!? I’ve finally died and gone to heaven!”
Xander: “I hope the SAG for Triton isn’t because of ME, I just gave my heart soul and package to the hyper blonde woman and I think I love her”
Trition: “What is this, I wanted her to bring McDonalds, if she’s here then where’s my DoorDash?”
Drowzee then opted for several bachelors and -ettes to join her on an outing, but the only one to bother to show up was Salty, which is starting to get me to swing in his favor.
Salty: “I was told I was gonna get something “raised to work for you”, I didn’t think you’d actually take me to my part time job, this isn’t how I wanted this hot date to go!”
Drowzee: “I literally just talked to your boss about a pay increase what in the hell are you whining about”
Salty: “Shopping together was a boring first date let’s never do it again, also why is that wienie Xander out here pouting for now?”
Xander: “I’m horribly late for our outing but I’m here! The weird pink woman was hounding us all for SAGs and I ended up scared and hiding in the closet til the coast was clear, but I’m here! To be with you, Drowzee! My beloved.”
Drowzee: “Ew you’re kinda clingy lol”
Xander: “Anyway let’s AAAAH A GHOST UWWAAHAHG”
Salty: “You dumb sea monkey, my con-seal-er just doesn’t match my skin today, I’m actually a peachy tan for your information”
Drowzee: “And you’re stupid. Haha I like stupid boys.”
Salty seems to be the one that wants to spend the most time with Drowzee, but Xander seems to be the one with the most interest in her.
Drowzee: “And I say you’re the highest in the rankings so far Xander, even with your poor display of mentality, I think you might have what it takes to go long with me!”
Xander: “Wait a minute am I on The Bachelorette? I don’t remember signing a contract…”
Salty: “Accepting flowers from that LOSER XANDER?! You’re a bigger WHORE than I thought!! A POX!! A POX ON YOU AND YOUR HOUSE!!”
Drowzee: “The HELL Salty, they’re just chrysanthemums”
Xander: “Oh wow a sidewalk”
???
Jigglypuff: “You can’t run from me forever stud muffin…”
Trition: “PLEASE I JUST WANT TO FIND WHERE MY FOOD DELIVERY GUY SANK”
Jigglypuff: “Not if my taxi has anything to say about it!!”
Triton: “DID YOU REALLY CRASH INTO MY BOAT TO KEEP ME FROM LEAVING SO YOU COULD SING LOVE ROLLERCOASTER TO ME”
Jigglypuff: “Oh COME ON. I had the bigger boat, what do you MEAN mine sank and his is still fine! The least you could have done was fish an old woman out!”
Pepper: “Please get this thing going, she’s almost on land!!”
Triton: “I’m trying I’m trying! I think the gas line is busted in the crash, oh god, she’s almost here!”
Trition: “Oh. Please great Leviathan smite me so I can escape this embarrassing moment.”
Jigglypuff: “YOUR LOVE IS LIKE, A ROLLERCOASTER BABY BABY!! I WANNA RIDE“
Pepper: “MCNUGGET MAN! PLEASE IF YOU CAN HEAR US!! SWIM THIS WAY!! PLEASE!!”
Here we are at the day I wanted to get Sabrina and Patrick wed and out of the house, and of COURSE. The weather doesn’t care what season we’re in, we SNOWING IN TROPICAL MAY
Patrick: *One teeny tiny snowflake flicked across his RAM processors and fried his ass out*
Totally not calling for the bachelor party for your slacking ass that’s for sure.
Sabrina: “Yeah you think you guys can come and look at my fiance and have him fixed today? I wanted to have a beachside wedding IF Blizzard-Hurricane Cooterbag ever blows over. Thanks, that would be great! OH and uh just ignore the large serving spoon lodged in his intake fan. I totally did NOT try to fix him on my own with a home remedy I saw on Jackass or anything.”
Sabrina: “Alright cool, snow IS melting before noon, and I’m calling to let you know that the wedding is still on and I would really love if you were to be there for me as my best friend. No, dipshit, not LOVE. Just. Be there. Yes bring your wife. Idiot.”
Gengar: “And I am just full of love. Nothing in particular, just love. I have love for the universe. And all she holds dear. Ah, to just fill the world with so much love.”
Drowzee: “So that’s where my special brownies went.”
Keldeo: “I’m actually the one that ate the brownies. I’m piss”
Jigglypuff is not going to the wedding because she’s so close to the end of her LTW career that I have her out at the local festival grinding her money jar out. I swear this is like watching Christina Aguilera busking for quarters outside a hometown’s 4th of July fireworks show.
Since last chapter I frequently check on her to make sure she doesn’t apparate into thin air but I’m starting to think that was a one time occurance.
Otherwise, a wedding venue was crafted on the island neighboring the house, pizza delivery girl not included.
Reya: “HEY, I was here FIRST before you plopped down your weird Pikachu themed beach wedding here! Can’t a hoe enjoy a tropical white sand getaway during her 15 minute break around here?!”
Gengar: “And she’s going to cost you an extra $150 AN HOUR FOR CATERING!! AAHAHAHA!!”
Sabrina: “NOoooo! I didn’t make any plans to feed anyone at ALL!!”
Kelsey: “Finnneee, I’ll take it upon myself to make the freeloader go away…”
Reya: “Sigh, you really can’t have anything nice around here anymore, can ya…”
Drowzee: “Also it’s so characteristic of dad to be the last family member to show up for the wedding because he decided he needed to swim instead of taking a boat.”
Gengar: “So like your father. Ah well. Next time I’ll remember to put him in his pokeball any time we go anywhere in the future.”
Kelsey: “Sorry I didn’t mean to turn you into a worm, Reya, stop squirming and I might be able to fix this.”
Drowzee: “Also, Electabuzz actually showed up to his ex’s wedding? I figured of all people to blow it off he’d be one of them.”
Gengar: “He has a more heightened sense of family than you think, Drowzee. That and I think he’s still homeless he really has nothing better to do right now.”
Patrick: “In that case, let’s get this show on the road! It might rain SNOW again in the next couple of hours, and I’d hate to implode going down the aisle with you.”
Sabrina: “Of course! That and if Kelsey and Slowpoke break a hip breaking it down and ruin my wedding I’m gonna flog them with a metal spoon rest.”
Drowzee: “No really, Sabrina and Patrick are starting the ceremonies. Are you two really going to stay over here and boogie all party long?”
Kelsey: “And miss out on my favorite tunes of the century all on one playlist, I think not!!”
Slowpoke: “I’d love nothing more than to take you down the aisle, Sabrina! You’re like a daughter to me! I’m so touched and wouldn’t miss it for the world!”
In all the guests that I invited, only Electabuzz and two townie chicks bothered to grace us with their presence today. That’s kinda sad, even for my usual turn outs for these weddings.
Sabrina: “And to think, my best friend, my confidant, Beedrill… after all these years… he didn’t even bother. I knew I should have stuck more needles in his voodoo’s legs this morning when I was working on it.”
Patrick: “Dear? I think out of all things that may be the reason he’s NOT here actually…”
But lo! Do my eyes deceive me? At least his wife Chasity bothered to turn up! Even though she’s wearing her own wedding dress, at least she bothers to attend family matters. Maybe she’s got Beedrilled shoved into the trunk or something.
Chasity: “Ooooh, eee, noooo, the temperature here is still so cold! Glad I packed my coat but nope, I’m out of here! See ya later!”
Sabrina: “Damn tease.”
Patrick: “See, now I’d understand if she was voodoo’ed, so maybe you should rethink your target on those things.”
And so, Patrick and Sabrina were wed, under the ordance of Pikachu and by the state of Isla Paradiso, they are wife and AI.
Gengar: “I’m going to send Beedrill a nasty email when I get home. On the other hand, the guests that did show up, don’t you think you should thank them for their unbridled attendance?”
Drowzee: “I don’t think that’s how that word is used but sure I can give them a chat.”
Drowzee: “So yeah hey, hot stuff.”
Maya: “Sigh, yes, this dress is reinforced with military grade A iron girdle rods, how did you figure”
Patrick: “Since Kelsey smote the pizza lady to cinders earlier, I’m now catering. I hope you all like 3D printed turkey!”
Electabuzz: “Hey. Congratulations on your wedding Sabrina. I hope it all goes well for you.”
Sabrina: “I’m just surprised you made it to my wedding, Electabuzz. Thank you. I really meant something to me that you came. Considering Beedrill didn’t even bother, I guess you were the best friend I had all along, after all this time.”
Electabuzz: “No, Sabrina. Let’s not. I just came to give my blessings, but I can’t say we’ll ever be proper friends again. There’s too much history between us, so let’s just leave it at that and keep it amicable. Patrick’s a good guy. And I’ll swirlie Beedrill the next time I see him. I just want you to have a good life, and I wish you the best of luck in your future.”
Sabrina: “Yeah I understand that. Too much room for drama and issues. I know me and I know you. And you’re right. But thank you Electabuzz. Thanks for being here, and thanks for everything.”
Electabuzz: “Now, go have your first dance with your husband. He’s been sneaking that plastic turkey for a while and he’s going to puke before too much longer if you don’t get your dance in now.”
Maya: “Oh yeah I can hold up a whole sandwich on these thangs!”
Drowzee: “Now THIS I got to see!!”
And not long after this party ended Patrick and Sabrina were moved out, and despite the low attendance and cold temps, it was one of the best weddings held.
Xander: “I only showed up to the after party to get DOWN to FUNKY TOWN!!”
Gengar: “Haha, you fuckin what you slacker?”
I went back to the house to dissolve Sabrina’s “room” and expand onto Drowzee’s so she could show Maya her “bedroom view” heheheheheheheheh and I see everyone just thinks the foyer is a dumping ground for some reason.
Classy. Great thing to come up on as soon as we come into the house.
Quick check on Jigglypuff and back to the end of the… party…
Patrick: “Hey don’t look at us, the tide came in and they washed in on the ice floes.”
Slowpoke: “Oh dang, I love pizza! Don’t zap her Kelsey, I’m sure she’s going to bring wonderful catering!”
Patrick: “Well I don’t need the death of broken fish people ruining the end of my wife’s wedding, good thing I’m also a go go gadget Conair!”
Ariel: “Ooh brr my scales are so cold they’re shrunken so small you can’t see them, yeah, that’s why”
Patrick: “Oh my word! This is Triton! King of the sea! Market! Of downtown! His fish stall has to die for prices! Of all people to wash up after our wedding party three hours late.”
Ariel: Now that the blood is flowing through my brain again: EW. A robot man? What is this world coming to? Nasty bots like you shouldn’t exist in my opinion at all.”
Patrick: “Hmmm.”
Patrick: “In that case, good luck reviving your friend, cyberphobe.”
Ariel: “What, WAIT NO!! COME BACK I DIDN’T MEAN IT!! PLEASE! I DON’T HAVE A CONAIR LIKE YOU!!”
Ariel: “NOOO! WHO’S GOING TO REVIVE THE KING OF THE OCEAN NOW!!! SOMEONE! ANYONE PLEASE SAVE OUR LEADER!!”
Slowpoke?
Slowpoke: “…Beedrill is in so much trouble next time I see him.”
Oh hey Maya! Who refused to go into the Pokemon’s house as soon as she got to the lot and turned around and is now swimming home like a moron. You aren’t going to stop to help Triton either? And SALTY?? You must have all swam to the party like morons and are just now getting here.
Salty: “And the l-l-least that t-t-titted bouy c-c-could d-do is f-find a heats-s-source for T-t-triton he-e-re.”
Maya: Just for that I’m just going to pretend I didn’t see the lot of you.”
Fish sticks, fresh never frozen.
Salty: “N-not fu-uu-unny”
Aw, they both lived.
Triton: “For these fudge crumbles? I’d swim over even the artic for these.”
Salty: “Anyway now that that’s done, I’m heading home. So tired I might be taking a snooze halfway there!”
Triton: “He’s going to die anyway.”
Oh, and Sabrina and Patrick were moved into the OSHA Violation. Mostly just to see if this place really is just a broken piece of crap.
And sure enough, not even 12 hours later, it was already threatening to boot them back out. I’m just going to bulldoze the home because this can’t be healthy for the town.
Sabrina: “And so we are going to move right into whatever Electabuzz is living in and rightfully move him out of that house as well!”
Electabuzz: “OH COME ON, FUCK OFF WE JUST MADE AMENDS”
At least the family home is safe from all that game breaking stuff. Even if the animals act like there’s not enough beds in the house to go around and look like I abuse them to passerby’s in boats.
Lucario: “Haven’t slept… in days… doesn’t know love… or comfort…”
You’re so trying to get us in trouble!!
Speaking of dogs not knowing love or the gentle tough of a human hand, now that Spoonie McSpooner is gone, time to replace her with a new cuddly creature thing!”
And the next pet on the roster will be…
Revealed next time lol
;3;
Pokemon Rainbowcy 
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